I’m doing a ‘blogging’ NO-NO! I have no pictures for this post, but I need to just say that the last post I put on my blog was the night before one of my sisters passed away. She was not that old~~~and it threw me for a loop!
You see, my father had passed away many years ago, and my mother passed away over 3 years ago. When my mother passed away, I requested to be the guardian of my older (disabled) sister. She was in need of someone to be an advocate for her. I wanted to see that she was getting the best care possible. My other sisters all agreed this would be the best thing for her. Do you know, I had to go to court to get that? Yes, I did. . . . and so I did. So on April 4th, almost 3 years ago, I was awarded legal guardianship over her. This was not custody, but it gave me the ability to help with her care, and look out for her best interest, and have a say in what would happen for her.
She was NOT happy about that. I had taken the one thing she most prided herself on having in her possession~~being her own guardian, and making the calls about what would/wouldn’t happen for her. Turns out, she was not making the best choices.
It was a hard thing. . . a delicate balancing act. You know, the people closest to you are the ones that you sometimes disregard the most. And she surely wasn’t going to let me control her life. There were many challenges working with/for her.
I loved her! I wanted her to get the best care possible.
In the short time that I was guardian, I was able to make changes for her that helped her.
I got (behind the scenes for months altering the grocery list to get) her menu changed to much healthier food, which helped with the problem she was having with severe stomach pain all of the time, and causing her to miss work. We got the healthier meals working, and she no longer missed work.
I found a massage therapist that would come to her home to give her massages. She absolutely loved Beth coming, and was blessed by that. (If it has been a while, and Beth hadn’t been there, she would ask me when Beth was coming again.) I know she liked her massages.~~I was jealous! 😉
I made sure they were putting the foot rests on her wheelchair, to support her dangling feet and weakening ankles. She ultimately (albeit begrudgingly) let me know it helped her.
I got her a new wheelchair cushion, because her other one was in need ditching for practical purposes, and we got a washable cover so that her cushion would stay much fresher and cleaner.
We had her room in a ‘yellow’ that she chose, and was her favorite color. Looked great!
I ordered PT for her more than once for a period of time, and it just was not improving her ability to get around. SADNESS! but I tried~~
These were just some of the ways in which I helped to make her life more. . . pleasant?
But she still resented me. . . even though when I would ask her what I had done that she ‘hated’ or ‘disliked’, she couldn’t tell me a thing. I was that sister.
However, I know, and she knew. . . that I was trying.
Sadly, her condition continued to deteriorate. Her physical abilities continued to become weaker and weaker. She just had no strength.
Her body gave out on November 19, 2016; and my hope is in the LORD that He has seen fit to take her home with Him.
It was HARD!
As much as she
disliked LOVED me, it was a challenge for her to show that. I still told her I loved her, and she would tell me she loved me. And I continued doing whatever I could/was able to help her with in spite of those “challenges”.
I don’t think I have cried harder, or had a tougher time at a funeral. I cried more about losing her than anyone else in my life. It was a tough loss. But she is no longer suffering, and for that we are all very thankful! (disclaimer: I know that sounds like a cliche’, but she suffered with a epilepsy because of an accidental drop on the playground when she was 6 years old, and the seizures, with 5 medicines going for just seizure activity, never completely stopped the seizures from occuring. She is now free!)
Thank God He fills our lives with many other blessings. We grieve, and then we heal. I am grieving, and I am healing.
And there was Thanksgiving to prepare for and celebrate during that time.
And then there was Christmas to celebrate.
And then we went out of town for a week.
Happy NEW Year!
NO LOGS YET!
insert “WHAAAAAA! ! !”
Okay, so the LORD is trying to teach us patience, or something else. What is it, LORD?
We wait, and we pray, and we trust in HIM! (I am sure we will look back on this time and say, “Oh, it’s a good thing we didn’t have the logs yet because _____________!”) We know the Lord knows what He is doing. We just don’t know what or why yet.
And now there is ‘Grandpa’ to take care of. Although ‘Grandpa’ is really not related to us at all, we love him dearly as if he were related to us. (You’ve seen G’pa in some of the pictures I have shared along the way.)
The story goes like this: My oldest daughter asked him to be her ‘Grandpa’ (almost 9 years ago) because his children live out of town, and her grandparents either lived out of town, or had passed. Is was a blessed and perfect match, and we haven’t looked back. He has been to all of our holiday gatherings, every birthday, with us on our jaunts to Amish country or wherever, driving around to look at Christmas lights, random (just because we eat) dinners at our house, to the Cincinnati Pops symphony, to the farm tours we have taken, along to watch our log house being started, and many other numerous things. He takes ‘the guys’ out to eat at Frisches’ often~~it is their thing. He has taken our family out to dinner more times than I can count. He has blessed us in more ways than I can say. Our little fellows don’t even know the difference. They have known only him as ‘Grandpa’.
This is the Grandpa that was 82 when he came into our lives, and is now 91 years old~~ still mowing his lawn as of last summer. But all of that is changing. He is a little more feeble. He has taken some falls. And the arthritis in his shoulders is really starting to act up, and he is now needing extra care. He isn’t driving right now for obvious reasons. We are happy to do it, and thankful that my time to care for my sister is finished so that I am able to more easily help him. And that we will do.
So now I am ready to get back to updating my blog. I have many pictures, and many things that have been happening in the meantime. I will try to be more regular.
Just “Thank you LORD!” that you do not put more on our plates than we can handle. I am truly thankful. I see your hand at work taking something off my plate, or moving it to another time whenever I am getting overwhelmed. You are a good God.